Sirius Blacks Nighmare
by enigma of rivendell
Summary: Sirius meet Harry's new girlfriend...Slash!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I own nothing you recognize.

AN- Hi peoples! If you read you must review!!! Please!!! Oh and Enjoy!

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Sirius Black woke up that morning feeling happier than he'd ever felt. Today he was going to meet Harry's new girlfriend. Harry hadn't told Sirius anything about his new girlfriend except that she was really hot. So Sirius couldn't wait to meet her.

He got up around ten O'clock, got dressed and brushed his teeth. Then after checking himself in the mirror one more time he apperated to Harry's house. He walked up the path and knocked on the door. It only took a few seconds Harry to answer, he was wearing his usual robes but Sirius swore he had his toenails painted pink.

Before he could ask about it Harry said " Sirius! Come in, come in, Sweetheart he's here comes meet him!"

Sirius nearly passed out as Severus Snape came out of the kitchen,

" This" said Harry " is my new girl friend."

As if his worst nightmares were coming true Harry leaned over and kissed Snape.

AN- There! Like it? Well R&R please!


	2. Chapter 2

AN- Short I know but ah what the hell! So I do have a few m ore of these planned out!

Sirius woke up on the couch three days later, Harry and Snape rushed in huge grins plastered on their faces.

" I'm glad to see your awake Sirius!" squealed Harry hugging him.

" Yes me too! Now that he is awake I think that we should tell him the good news Harry." Said Snape pulling Harry down on the couch with him.

" Oh Ok I'm sure that he will be oh so Happy about it!" said Harry bouncing in his seat.

" Sirius! ME AND SNAPE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!" screamed Harry awaiting his reaction.

Sirius couldn't believe it! He was out for three days and they decide to get married? In a very rash decision, which he would regret later Sirius ran up the stairs and hastily threw himself down them. Eight loud thumps later and he landed at the foot of the stairs.

" Oh god best get him to the hospital!" said Harry obviously not bothered by his godfather's reaction.

" Yes he must have had to go to the bathroom and he must have slipped!" explained Snape.

" Yes that makes since!"

With that the two took Sirius to the hospital were he woke up and was transferred to a Mental Asylum.


	3. Chapter 3

AN- Well here is another chapter! R&R!

Sirius didn't hear from Snape or Harry for nine months until they came to visit him, in their arms they carried a baby that looked oddly like Dumbledore.

" PUT ME DOWN YOU HEATHERNS! I'AM THE GREAT ALBUS DUMBLEDORE FOR GODSA KE!" they "baby" screamed.

Sirius was lead the visiting room with nine to ten metal benches in it, on the left there was a five foot window. He sat down and stared at the baby, why were they so unobvious to the babies' words? Wait! They had a baby? This was too much for him but he waited patiently for his chance to escape.

" Sirius this is our child Voldemort Draco Lestrang Riddle Potter." Said Harry

" WHAT!?!!" screamed Sirius.

" This is our child." started Snape.

" I KNOWW!" screamed Sirius looking over at the window.

" Sirius we have something else to tell you!" piped up Harry.

Deciding he didn't want to know Sirius ran over to the window and threw himself out of it onto the pavement were he landed on Ms. Figg.

The next time Sirius came around he would be in a Federal prison only to lean more shocking news.

AN- Who can guess what news Sirius will get next?


	4. Chapter 4

AN- Hey! Thanks for all the reviews!

Sirius floated towards the white gates of heaven a smile on his face; finally he had managed to join his friends. Once he entered the gates of heaven he floated over to his group of awaiting friends. After he explained what happened Lilly said

" Yeah you see Voldemort put you all under a spell to make you act abnormal! And the funniest part is that you fell for it."

" #%#$%" Said Sirius as he kicked some clouds.

Not very soon after his cussing spree god wandered over and hit Sirius upon the head with his pimp stick.

" He has cussed in Heaven, we shall doom him to Hell." Explained God.

The marauders tried to stop god but it was hopeless and they didn't want to risk it and get kicked out of heaven. So with that they let God doom Sirius to Hell were he would learn more disturbing news.

AN- did you like it?


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